The alarm goes off. Sadly, it’s not the usual la di da melody. It’s the terrifying alarm that makes you dream up a creepy clown chasing after you with a knife. You’ve slept through all the pretty melodies one way too many times. Obviously, you’re not allowed to use any serene ringtones anymore.

You look in the mirror and there’s a puffy eyed monster looking back at you. Yes it’s hideous, unless you forgot to wipe your make up off the night before but you know what you’re expecting once you wipe that off. I don’t wear too much make up and never have except for the middle school phase where I thought the oompa loompa hue looked pretty swell on me.

My skin and I have an agreement. She’ll stay pretty till I’m old and I pamper her with stuff we both sort of really dig — like loads  of Korean skincare products because I’m obsessed.

Morning are not our specialty. Mornings, especially hot summer mornings, is when my skin experiences a series of mental break downs and blows up a little. It’s like my entire face just seems to swell up.

I have tried natural remedies like freezing spoons, splashing cold water on my face, sticking it in ice, and it resulted in…nothing.

But with time and sweet dedication to pampering my skin, I found a routine that said goodbye to all the horrible puffy morning face days I have to deal with:

1. SKEDERM SNAIL JELLY MASK

Technically you’re supposed to use face masks at night so your skin soaks up all the nutrients but after I read that Mindy Kaling smacks these on her face before hair and make up I said, “screw the technicalities. Let’s get this face overdosed with nutrients!” Note: leave it in your fridge the night before and put it on your face 10-15 minutes before you start getting ready.

Buy them here

2. PATCHOLOGY EYE PATCHES

I use these on the nights I decide to pamper myself or while I’m getting dressed to go out for brunch, lunch, dinner, or work. Basically, every time I’m getting dressed and I’m trying everything on in my closet because it all looks terrible on me except for the first outfit I tried on, obviously. Keep these on for 5 minutes.

I thought after I graduated I’d get more sleep. Not true. The bags under my eyes have turned from tiny clutches to oversized Louie Vuitton totes and not the good kind. The ones you find deep within the scary tunnels in China town. I’m spending more money on concealers and coverup when I should be saving that money up for more important things, like a real Louie Vuitton purse.

Buy them here or small pack here

3. PATCHOLOGY LIP PATCHES

On to the lips. Mine are always chapped. I know what you’re thinking, “drink more water!” Well let me tell you something, all the water in the world could not moisture these dry, frigid lips. I drink a ton of fucking water. I finally figured out a way to make my lips look like a mediocre version of Kylie Jenner’s lips. I sleep with bath and body work’s 24hr lip treatment AND use these patches for 5-10 minutes before make up. Miracle worker. I promise.

Buy them here or smaller pack here

4. CLARINS BOOSTER DETOX

Supposedly, charcoal masks rid you of all the pollutants and toxins but they aren’t for everyone. My skin is pretty sensitive and I can’t tell you how dry it got after using to different charcoal washes. BUT, you can’t scrub the toxins off. You need something that will dive into your skin. So I did my research and decided to try out Clarin’s booster detox.

Most of the time our skin gets unnaturally puffy because we lack a good night sleep, you were out drinking, and if you live in a big city the pollution can get to you without realizing. There is not a day that goes by while I’m in Lima where I wake up without looking like a puffer fish. An overpopulated city can do a lot of damage to your skin which is why I decided to try the Clarin’s booster detox.

Buy detox here

5. Pillowtalk

Most of the time puffiness can be due to water buildup. Change your sleeping position. Try adding in an extra pillow under you and limit your sodium intake before bed. In case you didn’t know, sodium will retain liquids which is what causes you to swell up.

Do you have any skincare secrets of your own? Please share them below and if you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to share!

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