Lately, I’ve been feeling a little uninspired to post much on here. So today I’ve decided to share the story of how I accidentally told Nik I loved him, oh boy, did I make it awkward.

Wearing my favorite denim jacket from ABLE

When Nik and I started dating, things were a little weird. They moved really fast, but I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, so I asked for things to be casual. By casual, I just meant, you know, a friends with benefits kinda thing. I also asked him to come with me to a weekend wedding in Georgia before we even kissed, but that’s not the point.

Anyhow, fast forward to a couple of months later. We had gone out to eat, and Nik walked me back to my car. We ended up talking and hanging out for a little in the parking lot, he gave me a dinosaur mug and said something funny that made me laugh. That’s where everything went turmoil.

I said it. I chuckled out, “oh my god, I love you.” I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, it’s not a big deal, Kat. But I just froze. I just kept thinking, “Oh my god no. I didn’t mean that. I don’t feel that way. NO. Oh my god no. No. No. No. I did NOT mean that. No way.” And guess what? I said all of those things OUT LOUD. When I realized I had said all of that to his face, I ran to my car, shut the door and sped off.

I immediately called my best friend, and as any best friend would, she laughed and said, “Wow. You know you’re going to have to be the one to say it, right?”

Me? Yeah right. Oh, I guess I should also mention I turned him down twice before we made things official. I dreaded anything that could make me feel the least bit vulnerable. How he’s stuck around through all my awkwardness and craziness, blows my mind but I guess he loved me.

Nik will probably hate me for sharing this, but it’s ok. Nik does this thing where he’ll talk nonsense when he’s almost asleep. We’ll be having a conversation and then starts talking about superman or that it’s snowing, gets mad if I make him repeat himself and starts talking more nonsense. It’s when I know he’s actually asleep. Well, on two or three occasions he said, I love you. I think one time he might’ve caught himself because he got nervous and said, “I didn’t say anything. Nothing.” and fell asleep. It was really cute.

It took me two weeks after that to finally say it. I was nervous. It took me nearly 10 minutes to say it! He just laughed and said, “I know.”

Not even an “I love you back?” He drives me nuts.

I also found out a few weeks ago that when I said I wanted to keep things “casual” he just assumed I wanted to date exclusively, but take things slow. In what world? Someone tell him he’s clearly wrong.

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